which is better; to experience a harrowing amount of pain en masse or to be exposed to a comparable degree of torment cumulatively? is it more preferable to be suddenly stabbed with a butcher knife or be pricked with a needle daily (on a singular location)?
when one suffers the impact of disturbing forces collectively, the body also reacts to these forces collectively. these collective reactions occurs concurrently with the intense forces. in these situations, one is hypersensitive to these reactions. to feel the trickle of moist blood as if it is the gush of a roaring waterfall. the throbbing is like a vehement fist pounding on the door. the heartbeats are like successive explosions of bombs. the tears sting the eyes as if attempting to drown it in the ocean bed. the sweat like an awkward blanket of grease. the gasps for air sound like a production of a humongous, malfunctioning machine. the tension of the muscles is like a metal vise clamped on wood. the screams like the sands of the shore, each grain forced down the throat and ears. all these mordantly imply that throughout the pandemonium, we are still alive. all these are simultaneously happening and the victim desires ardently for it to cease. but once it does, the agony is gone as quickly as it came. when the blood clots, the throbbing stops, the heartbeats calm down, the tears dries up, the sweat wiped, the breathing slows down, the tension eases and the screams echoes off, all that is left is mirror of memories. one can see those memories only when one looks at oneself, down at the deepest depths.
what of those who bear with the daily needle pricks? there are those who are affected with a similar amount of pain but the agony is moderated as it is divided and delivered on a stretched duration. there are three stages one often encounters here. at first, the constantly present disturbing force (which exists throughout the three stages) could be neglected. one can feel the pain but dismisses it because of its paucity. like a speck of dirt on your pants. this might be the shortest stage depending on one's tolerance or rather, insensitivity. secondly, the minute forces are eventually compiled and so the torment is concentrated. it has now become hard to ignore. like an ugly, brown stain on you pants. the spot where one is continuously pricked now becomes irritated. in this stage, the pain reaches its peak. third, there is a possibility of acclimation to the force hereafter, which also results to apathy. one has gotten accustomed to the hurt until one is immune to it. pain is united with the victim. thus, one is indifferent to whether the pain will cease or not because there is a speculation that no alteration will take place. that all will be the same with or without pain. in reality, there is, and one will only know when an actual change is felt. until then, one is numb not only to pain but to other emotions as well because of the severity of the damage done. one will feel nothing. we could say, it is almost as if one is dead.
either way, we could not escape one fact; that there is pain. it is always present, thought not all the time. we must accept that we cannot live life without it, though we could find ways to elude it. However, when you do have to face pain and you have a choice, which would you choose?
tags:
literature
